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Welcome to my Breakthrough

It’s sudden. It’s dramatic. It’s a feeling.

Mark Manson is exploring breakthroughs with a weekly newsletter, it’s an experiment worth failing at. I don’t see failure as the end, do you?

When I was a little kid, I used to spend a lot of time alone. I preferred my company more than anyone else's. But I also remember being hurt when my sister would choose her friends over me, not play with me, or get mad at me. We all are introverted extroverts or extroverted introverts. It’s a shame to be put in a box.

People want to know they are not alone. When someone is constantly directing people to play in a box, you should remember they are in one already. When I digested this insight, life became simpler, bearable, and conquerable.

(but I still don’t know how to answer when someone asks me what I do)

I do too much sometimes. But it’s not enough. I try most days. But I get tired of everything. Do you get tired?

As of now, I’m interested in living. I felt something new last week. It was a feeling of chaos and calm, at the same time. It felt like I was high on life. Breakthrough is a positive drug trip indeed, drug being life.

Looks like a breakthrough to me

It was a regular day, I woke up, cleaned my room, made breakfast, got ready, and worked.

Later in the evening, I had a meeting with a friend to discuss marketing strategies for the farm. The meeting went brilliant, I had clarity over what to prepare next, it's a pleasure to work with people who love what they do, they keep the hope alive. When we got into chatting about what’s up in life, something happened.

See, I want to do a master's. There’s no doubt about it. I want to learn more about mental health and social innovation. When I started thinking about a master's in January 2022, it was not easy to see myself as someone who could get admission, afford college, and live abroad. It felt impossible. I decided to apply anyways.

I’ve always been doubtful about leaving the farm to someone else. So much to say, I have fought with my parents to not lease out the property.

Who is going to do it? Will they understand the vision? Will they make it work? Can I trust them? Why should we give it? AGGGGGGHHHHHH.

And then I started getting accepted into colleges I applied to. I worked hard on my applications, and of course, it felt great. But you see, the more I’m getting closer to this dream, the more I’m feeling distinct from my vision. Now I know why.

Farm Aavjo is the product of my vision. I need it and it needs me, to keep going. I cannot leave in six months for another country to study. It takes time to build, it takes more time to sustain, and it takes consistency to succeed.

That’s my breakthrough. I’m not leaving.

I can do my master's next year, or the year after that. Like my good friend said, "The iron is hot right now, and you need to strike it." This year is about being consistent and committed to the Farm. I’m excited. And scared.

One day at a time then.

Thanks for reading. I’ve asked two questions through this blog, find them and answer. I look forward to reading the comments.

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